BABY SHOPPING...SHORT STORY FROM AFROLICIOUS BABE

I called in sick on Friday sounding like I could die the very next second then decided I was on diet and ate loads of beans…wore a maxi dress and went baby cloth shopping…No, Afro is not pregnant…My friend Fluffy got married a while ago and has a bun or a puff puff in the oven. Need to tell you the story of how I met Fluffy, very dramatic…The girl sabi panic no be small...Don't commit any crime with her cos you will be caught…Hence baby shopping donkey months before baby is due!

Hoping I wouldn't run into anyone as Oxford street is really close to my office I go into H&M, got some stuff for baby, couldn't resist a little something for myself.

While in the shop I felt a sudden sharp cramp which must have been a result of too much breakfast and leaned on a cloth rack holding my tummy. Now this is the image, I am in new born babies section, tiny cloths in one hand, using same hand to hold tummy and using other hand to hold on to cloth rack wearing a maxi dress.

I saw a shop girl rushing to me with a seat, followed closely by 2 other shop girls, she asked me to sit and they asked if it was my first baby, that was when I realised what was going on…Did I put them right? NO… told them it was my first then touched my head and said my blood sugar was low, one of them ran off and came back with a coke which I quickly took.lol..awoof!

Leaving the shop I see people collecting something, Afro does not know what it is but being the African that I am quickly rushed over to collect as well…Some new drink, I collect from 3 different people…yes, I got 3 bottles and immediately drank one…The coke had turned to blood sugar by then.Then I decided I needed to munch something and got 3 donuts and went to primark to do some more baby shopping, baby things look colourful and cheap, kai, the things I got for £5 at H & M are £2.50 here, so I go mad and shop my ass off, forgetting the money is not just for clothes…oh well…couldn't resist getting 3 sexy night wears for myself…kai, but primark nighties are cute…cheap but cute...lol...Anyway a shop attendant seeing as I am pregnant and saddled with load came and carriedthem to the till for me.

Then I have a large subway sandwich with my free drink, at this time even I had forgotten I wasn't really pregnant. Needed the energy for the trip home.

Went home and immediately fell asleep, the sign of good exercise, or maybe it was the pounded yam I had with the last free drink seeing as I didnt have lunch, I should have taken 4 of those drinks..., hmmmm next time!! I must have lost at least a kilo with all that walking around from shop to shop…Mrs Somebody and Calabar girl will be so proud of me…NOT!!!! Must do it more often though cos it was fun.

Later in the evening parakeet and I go to a naija show, Nice and Olu maintain (yahoozee) Didn't really dig Nice, maybe cos I don't understand a word of what he was saying but that olu maintain is an entertainer men…The guy gave a good interactive show while Nice mimed… It wasn't all fun though as the silly DJ hailed everyone and said we all looked nice in our primark dresses ( To those in naija, this is equivalent to being told your tejuosho dress looks good) The thing pained me big time because I got the cute dress I was wearing from primark…long hissssss!!!

Then Parakeet's ex bobo came to take us home, that was the second time I was meeting him but the same thought came to my mind…HOW IN HEAVENS NAME DO YOU UPGRADE ON PERFECTION??? His height, voice, good spoken English, clean, huuuuuuuuuu the joggers danggggg… I whispered to Parakeet, good luck upping that!! Why the hell is he ex anyway? I would forgive him any crime, in fact I'd beg him to commit a crime just so I could forgive him!!!