DEB &CHIDI...Dallas 27/08/2011

BIGGER FISH TO FRY ON INDEPENDENCE

I think we should be trying to find ways to solve problems and not compound it. I am getting older and the older I get, the more I want real answers to some of the questions I have had since the 80s when I began to realize what was lacking in Nigerian towns.

I agree with the suggestion that we should talk about real issues facing our people. I think the biggest is lack of good medicine, the second is lack of infrastructure/technological advancement to compete in the global market place, and the third major one is the lack of love for other fellow Nigerians by those on top. If one really loves another as they love themselves, they will wish for that person to have what they have such as the good things in life. Jesus commanded us to do so. This is exclusive of tolerance for blatant sin or crime.

There are other problems but I will stay with the subject of medicine that I enjoy and because of my concern about health matters. I have heard of and seen several incidences that leave me wondering when a real solution is going to begin in medicine.

How do we begin to address the issues facing us and news we hear from home that are not always pleasant? Issues such as:
A relative died in a car crash. They said it was the work of witch craft. There was no ambulance to take her to the hospital. Why?
Another relative got involved in a car crash and broke his shoulder joint. They say it was the work of witch.

2 weeks ago, a nurse yanked off a new Born's arm from his shoulder during delivery, the mother thinks it is a broken scapula or shoulder blade, the husband is confused and thinks it could be both but they are both sure the arm is displaced from its socket. Up until now, 2 weeks later, in Lagos, the hospital has not called to checked on them. In the meanwhile, the child cries all day and night.

A cousin went to the hospital for stomach infection or something. The hospital refused him treatment because the mother could not come up with the money they were asking for at the time. He died.
4 of my male cousins were said to be sick of something at different times within the last 2-3 years. 3 from same parents and another from another, and they all died. The one that was in his teen years died earlier (a few years back), 2 were in their 20s and another in his 40s. The mother of the three boys sometimes wonders what really happened.
Another female cousin went to the hospital to deliver a baby and did not make it back. Similar situation was the case for my in law.

50% of the patients in the ward at Agbor, I hear, are amputees from Okada falls. They say bad luck followed them but I say it is from the bad roads and no means of transporting them quickly enough to the hospitals to salvage the limbs.

My uncle's wife tried to give birth to twins a few years ago and it was bye bye to her and the twins in the hopital.
One of my cousin went to fix a catarrach and came back with half past four eye. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in my town until that happened. That led to low self esteem that led to other details I care not to give here.

There are several others like a woman with aids who gave birth t a child without AIDS but was allowed to breast feed her newborn until he got HIV and AIDS and died.
What can we do to provide better education for our doctors in Nigeria and medical technology with which they can work effectively?

People are afraid to visit Naija because most fo the people they know are dead. Can we change that for the junior ones coming up to make it possible to see their friends at age 70, 80, 90, and maybe 100?

Diseases are leaving a lot of our nieces and nephews orphans, fatherless or motherless. What does the future hold for these kids? Are they dying because we have more bacteria than other parts of the world, more careless health habits, witches, poverty, no love from the politicians at the top, untrained doctors, less medical tools to work with, bad roads, infected or damaged foods from no preservation methods, lack of it, or inadequacy of it? Do our people not deserve to see great great great grand children?
I am praying for us and I wish more can be done.
Philo

SOFTWARE UPGRADE

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as 'Boys' Night out 2.5' and 'Golf 5.3' no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected 'Saturday Football 6.3' always fails and 'Saturday Shopping 7.1' runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to 'Girlfriend 7.0', but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?







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AND THIS IS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID:
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Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the,

C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as 'Flowers 2.0' and 'Chocolates 5.0' or 'HUGS\ KISSES 600.0' or 'TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0' or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1' (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install 'Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version)
or 'One Nightstand 3.2' (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH!

....Do you think it's always advisable to upgrade?

PHILO'S RECIPES

Dear Mr. Tony,
Thanks for your participation in this important discussion.

There are Nigerians who believe that going to Nigeria to marry "field workers" (kids who can be groomed to become nurses or Nigerian trained nurses) mean potential source of wealth.

Wrong. They grow up and become intolerant of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse met on them by their sugar daddies..so called husbands.

Our Nigerian men here refuse to marry the young USN-Nigerians but go to Nigeria to seek "virgins" or "novices", nurses, doctors, pharmacists, etc out of ignorance. They forget that the novice learns from examples, life experiences, training and over time. In some cases, they become worst than the Nigerians they left here who already know how this place functions. I always wish them good luck because I know they are going to need it.

I remember growing up in Nigeria and the shock I experienced when I got here and discovered how much I did not know about life. I quickly told myself to get with it or be eaten alive. I learned, adjusted, and blended. Well, I can tell you that the old me was shed off almost 30 years ago. I had no choice. I had to survive in the big city with 45 storey

ADVISE FOR THE MALE FOLKS:

Therefore when an imported girl, yet to be a woman, a year later, tells the 48-60 year old, start-over husband to get lost, or wake up and smell the coffee, it comes as a rude awakening to him too. After all, he paid $3000-$4000 in flight ticket fares just to fly him and his bride back to the US when he went to finalize the import arrangement; not minding the green card rigorous process and charges, the waiting period, the long distance phone calls, and western union fees paid for her tuition to finish high school or college and money given to her parents while he was wooing her. It is not cheap to marry and bring a woman from home. But it is wrong to assume that they are going to be your future meal ticket and vice versa. Wrong!! Wrong!!!, Wrong!!!!

Fact: Some of them assume that the number of times you have had sex with them and the number of children they have had and pregnancy pains pays for all that. Secondly, a nurse goes through 4 to 6 years of intensive training, sleepless nights for exams and then takes the mother of them all, board exam. After that, she works 12 hours every night for 3-5 days a week without sleep along with menstrual cramps, monthly periods, crying, needy babies, and 4-6 pregnancies. This means a bunch of very angry and irritable women. It is only with the grace of God that you find a calm nurse. Therefore, if you bring up matters that should only be discussed during vacations, she might snap at you. In fact, I would not accuse a woman who works 12 hours and sleeps during the day, cooks, cleans, nurses infants, goes to day care centers for pick up and drop offs, and attends Nigerian meetings 3 times a month, participates in church activities in the community, of having affairs. She might bite you. If I were you, I would go back to school to study nursing like your wives so that you can understand what she is going through. And if you feel too macho to do so, just shut up and accept the new wife.

I mean no disrespect to the women married and brought here. I want the same for my sisters at home too because it will help them get green card and I will send less money through Western and pay less Western Union fees. So bravo for the winners. Just don't get yourselves killed. Ask questions before you marry the been-to.
God bless you. I care.

Sir Phil.
PRO, PRO and Vice president.
President and CEO of Nwarueze Enterprizes.
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Dear friends,

It is well worth it in most cases to go home and find a wife or husband if one is having difficulty finding one here to marry.

But I am using the word "find" very loosely here. Please know that it is ridiculous for anyone to think that one "find" a spouse. If you choose to find one because you think you know better or believe there is no God, I pray the God helps you keep your choice and improve your lives abundantly while He prepares your heart to be born again.

Life partners do not get found by us or picked by us. The Lord selects our partners, and sets up the right circumstances for us to meet. Examples of marriages that are predetermined by God are those marital relationships that last for decades with minimal conflicts. What I consider minimal are those that do not result in severe irreparable damages. Simple everyday arguments are expected and allowed. They also make one more human. They allow the partners to see what bugs them. It is usually short and can be overcome with a serious massage and Ewedu, Edi-kanko, Egusi and serious Ogbono soup for a fufu loving husband. Simply put, farinate him. If you think I am mistaking, watch a men with pot belly. He is more likely to hold his wife's hand, wear uniforms with her to a party, Carry the youngest baby with one hand while balancing her on his stomach than the tall, slim, firm, muscular man with eternal roving eyes. We have a few like that in my community. Although they argue, Banga soup and synthesized pounded yam usually does the trick before the inner room.

Like I was saying before I started thinking about fufu and romance, God brings a spouse to a person. When people attempt to force the issue, "find" one themselves, they run into all kinds of difficulties. Have you noticed that the wife that was easiest to woo is usually the one that gives you the least headache? It is because before you were born, before you were ready to get married, before you opened your mouth to ask for his/her hand in marriage, he/she was chosen for you by God.

Therefore, if you don't go looking, but pray and follow your heart when you are ready, but keep your hands, heart, and mouth clean (I am not referring to only brushing your teeth), she/he will be at the right place at the right time when you are ready. Have you noticed how most good pastors seem to find the best girl in the village and the bad ones marry the village bitches?

A Niger brother just went home to find a wife like several others. The first one that was recommended had always asked him to bring this and that. He had spent several thousand dollars on her until he decided to visit her. When he arrived, she did not come to the airport to welcome him. He stayed in Lagos for a few days and did not see her. He finally decided to go to the village to see her and ask why she did not come to Lagos knowing that her beloved future husband candidate was coming from abroad and is now in town. The first thing she said to him when she set eyes on him was Welcome, where is that --------------- you promised to buy and bring to me. He was so disappointed that he took the gift back; after-all she was an ordinary Pharmacist. Considering that someone had recently recommended a doctor, he ran back to the city to get engaged to the doctor he had neither met nor spoken to before. She was a better commodity and was going to be a better source of income. To him I say "wait until she comes to the USA and takes the intensive course in preparation for the difficult medical board exam and then we'll know whether or not she will hand over her paychecks. I will wish you all good luck.

To the good wives and husbands, from home, I will say bravo. Keep on loving because love conquers all. There are still very many Nigerians without AIDS and very many who have not started wearing tight jeans, and do not speak with fake American accent.

MEN'S CORNER:

For the men in the USA, I will say, look around here first and then go home but do not rush into things. Lower your standards a bit. Also, keep the age difference between 2-10 years. 11-30 years is too much. She might feel as if she is sleeping with her father. Be a lover, learn to caress, learn to share the domestic workload, learn to play with her, the children and all of the family members together. Go to church together and learn to lead in prayer sessions. Watch TV together, shop together, go out for drinks with her alone, go on dates, and basically continue courting her. She will be the best you've ever known.

LADIES CORNER:

Do all the things I recommended for the men but most importantly, give him his space, rub his back, massages his stomach to enable the fufu to digest because you know he is not going to jug, run or walk, or to go to the Gym. Nibble on his ears if it is clean, rub his hair, and take care of him all over. He may be a man but he can still use some motherly nurturing like one of your babies. Real men do place their heads on their wife's shoulders or lap. If he does not do that, he does not know what he is missing. It might be all it will take for you to say " yes daddy" like the Phillipinos. Don't make him like their men though. They tend to reverse the family roles from too much "yes daddying".

That reminds me, is that why they do not kill their wives even though 99% of their women are nurses? Hmmmmmm.

God bless you all.
__________________________
Philomina

NIGERIAN MEN & THEIR WIVES....USA

Dear All,

People who read the journalist's reports on these killings will discover that in some areas--the writer sounds as if though he is blaming the women; in some areas the writer sounds as if though he was blaming the men. In general the writer appears to be more explicit on the names he was calling the actors.

My position is that the phenomenon is despicable-- no human being will accept that killing someone can be condoned in any way except when someone is physically or obviously on his/her way to kill someone else---in that respect--the case of self-defense may apply.

But we all must agree that sometimes in life, people do things that indeed kill other people directly or indirectly. As such, some times human beings--men or women launch a first strike if they feel that someone else is already on his/her way to kill the person one way or the other. An example will be the killing of the Supper-Star, Malvin Gay by his father--and other examples like that. But let it be clear, I do not give prescriptions for how to kill people--I do not kill people and do not intend to kill anyone or suggest that anyone should kill anyone for any reason whatsoever.

What I was alluding to is that: as a community, Nigerians in America should no longer just be wondering, name-calling, when these killings occur: people must dig deeper than that to seek solutions. In the ancient times--when certain bad things began to happen, the ancients make special journeys to visit supper Oracles for solutions. In this modern time, as well, communities consult experts for solutions. The occurrence should be researched in order to get scientific data that will help our communities to device ways for solutions.

Even just publicizing those gruesome pictures can make people to think twice when they are embarking on criminal schemes--both the men and the women. For quite some time now--most people who came from Africa have the feeling and belief that people from Africa cannot be as deadly as some Americans: they want to use American laws the ways it fits them, but pretend that they do not also know that Americans also, when people do them things that defy morality/humanity/ and rationality- -they some times as well snap and do strange things. For example, a woman who shot the man who raped her very young boy and the courts seemed to be handling the man in a softer way; we have seen lovers shoot people who seemed to put their hands in the mouth of the person they violated.

Some Nigerian men who know clearly that our Nigerian laws forbid men going around (f----king/screwing ) peoples' wives, do it anyways simply because they factor that Nigerian people do not shoot. When you go to parties in this America--and in the party there are Americans and Nigerians in the party--the people Nigerian Coward men would openly be chasing are women with other Nigerians. It is not that they think that they are physically stronger than the Nigerian men who may be there with the women; it is simply because the bad Nigerian men are so cowardly that they just cannot dare mess with women with Americans openly.

They know that Americans of all types will waste no minute in executing them, if the felt insulted by the Nigerian or any man in that matter. I have observed this in many states and places I have been. The same is the case with some of our women--some (bullshits they feed Nigerian men--are sometimes because they felt that Nigerian men are not violent--that they do not kill. While I will like an immediate stoppage to these senseless killings--I also hope that people who are still alive can take some lessens from what have happened so far. Do not dare anyone so badly! If you are a woman--once you know that you are doing certain things you would not have been doing ordinarily in our cultures to a man--do not be too sure of his resolve to endure; if you are a man--and doing bad things with the belief that American laws are on your side or easy on those things--do not be too sure about that. The man you are messing with his wife or the woman you are messing with could also possibly act like American-borns.

One time in California, one woman whom people say was a pauper in Nigeria--but when one guy from her area went home, married and brought her here, trained her in nursing school; after she started making money she filed for divorce and took the houses, the children and so on. Although in a court of law--the system made the woman to be paying the guy back some money; but that woman had the habit of every place there is a party where she knows that the guy will be there--she goes there and be doing all sorts of things she could do to provoke the guy. We have not heard that anything happened, but I felt that the woman should have been more careful and take precaution than that. At least, try to avoid contacts with the guy to give the devil no chance. To prove that the woman may be the offender there--we have learned that she went home and remarried and brought a guy from Nigeria here--and the same thing that happened with her and the first guy happened again--and the newest guy fled off from her.

I have criticized bad Nigerian men: I supported none of them. I am simply saying that--sometimes our people overdrive this their understanding of American ways of living--and it have been showing.

There is one altruism, once there is a conflict--the parties to the conflict all have a share in the causes of that conflict one way or the other. The idea of blaming one party is absolutely wrong. For that reason, we need to research the phenomenon so that we can use the scientific finding to educate our people--both from home and those who are already here.

IF NIGERIAN WOMEN IN NIGERIAN AND OUR MEN ARE SEEING THOSE PICTURES--THEY MUST HAVE LEARNED FEW THINGS FROM THERE. WHEN SOMEONE STAYS HERE AND KEEPS TELLING A WOMEN WHO IS STILL AT HOME THAT AMERICAN LAWS FAVOR WOMEN OR A NIGERIAN MAN WHO IS BEING UNDER ILLUSIONS OF WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS ABOUT, OR IS NOT, THE FATE OF THE MEN IN THE PICTURES MUST HAVE TOLD THEM ONE THING OR ANOTHER. THAT SOMETIMES--A NIGERIAN COULD ALSO ACT LIKE AMERICANS. IF SOMETHING IS NOT DONE--SOON, THE WOMEN WILL ALSO BEGIN TO DO WHAT AMERICAN WOMEN DO AS WELL. SWINDLING A MAN OR WOMAN WITH THE HOPE THAT ONE WILL GET WAY WITH IT--MAY BE BECOMING A THING OF THE PAST. LET US LEAVE ALL CHEATING; DUPING; SWINDLING; AND BE GOOD LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS OF AMERICA AND NIGERIA.

As to Yoruba men--one of the men is a Yoruba man--this ugly event touched on all the major peoples of Nigeria--look at the names well. We may give the credit of not being among this evil by Hausa people to their women's culture. As you know that--the Hausas and Muslims maintain zero tolerance when it comes to a woman going "wild" if you like. Perhaps the answer to that question is that the people adhere to their culture even while here. If the Southerners and their Christian beliefs are too easy to transgress-- the Muslims and Hausas are not that way yet. I do not see Hausa men in this America their wives would prepare and head to parties alone as some Southerns wives do and many other things they know they could not do in Nigeria. The two most obvious bones of contention-- center on fidelity issues and money. We shall be saying more on this.

Jerry Stephens

(USA)

Nigeria Cedes Bakassi To Cameroun 2008/08/14 By Emma Una/ Calabar & Eromosele Ebhomele The controversial Bakassi Peninsula has been formally handed over to the Republic of Cameroun. The ceremony took place today, in Calabar, the Cross River State capital. Top government officials from Nigeria, Cameroun, representatives of the United Nations, the diplomatic community, etc. witnessed the ceremony. The Nigerian delegation was led by the Attorney-General and Minister of Justice, Michael Aondoakaa. In his speech at the historic occasion, Aondoakaa said the handing over was a painful exercise. "We are saddled with the painful task of completing the implementation of the ICJ judgement," he said. According to him, there are arrangements for the resettlement of those who have chosen to leave the peninsula, promising the Nigerian indigenes who would remain in the area that their fundamental human rights would be maintained. While the Acting-Governor of Cross River State, R. Hon. Francis Adah, tasked the international community to assist in resettling the displaced Nigerians, who, he said, were already traumatised, the Camerounian minister of State for Justice, Professor Maurice Kamto, confirmed that his country would honour the Green Tree Agreement between the two countries. The United Nations Secretary General, who was represented, promised that the world body will support the displaced people and the governments of the two countries. The hand over process started two years ago, at exactly noon on Monday, 14 August, 2006, when the Nigerian flag and that of the Nigerian Army were lowered at one of the islands, Archibong Town in Bakassi. They were handed over to the then Attorney-General of the Federation, Chief Bayo Ojo, and the former Chief of Defence Staff, General Martin Luther Agwai, while the Camerounian flag was hoisted. It was then the Bakassi people were first hit by the realisation of a possible hand over of their land to Caremoun. They had thought a miracle would happen to change the International Court of Justice's ruling in favour of Cameroun. This ceremony became the first phase of the final hand over of the Peninsula extension of the territory of Calabar into the Atlantic Ocean with a population of between 250,000 to 300,000 people. The Republic of Cameroun had continually emphasised that the land belongs to it, capitalising on two agreements reached between it and the Nigerian government in the 1970s. The Yaounde II Declaration of 4 April, 1971, and the Maroua Declaration of 1 June, 1975, were devised to outline maritime boundaries between the two countries following their independence. The line was reportedly drawn through the Cross River estuary to the West of the Peninsula, thereby implying Camerounian ownership over Bakassi which covers an area of 665sq kilometers. Nigeria never ratified the agreement and Cameroun regarded it as being in force and this prompted the ICJ ruling in the Hague on 10 October, 2002. Despite the Green Tree Agreement between former President Olusegun Obasanjo and the Camerounian President, Mr. Paul Biya and the subsequent handing over process, a Federal High court sitting in Abuja put a hold to today's ceremony. However, for the first time, citizens of the country think that President Musa Yar'Adua has gone against the rule of law. Even members of the House of Representatives think so. The Chairman of the House Committee on Media and Information, Eziuche Ubani, said the National Assembly should have held on to the alibi of the Federal High Court, Abuja and remind the President of his beleif in the rule of laws. "We didn't do our job at the National Assembly. There were things we could have done to stop the President from handing over our territory, at least for now," he said. For the Senator representing Bakassi, Senator Bassey Ewah Henshaw, crying would not be enough to show the grief of the people. "Government has scathered my people all over the place. My people are all refugees everywhere with nowhere to call home," he said. Noting that nothing has come out of the resettlement effort of the Federal government, the Senator said, "the people are very bitter against those people that have done them in. In time, the people will be able to identify the real people who have put them in this terrible condition." According to him, the National Assembly was yet to ratify the ICJ judgement and the various agreements by the two countries. Meanwhile, Dr. Ambrose Akpnika, a one time Commissioner for Health in Cross River State and the Mkpisong Ukara of Calabar, has described the proposed relocation of the Bakassi people to Ikang in Akpabuyo Local Government of Cross River State as a farce which is bound to fail. Dr. Akpanika, who is a prominent indigene of Bakassi, said the people of Bakassi have lived in their present place of abode for over 200 years and have taken the Bakassi Island as their ancestral home, so it would be difficult to go where they don't know. Akpanika, who is one of the Kingmakers in Efik Kingdom, said that for a people who have never known any other place as their home, they will resist any attempt made to move them in the name of relocation. Speaking to P. M. NEWS in Calabar, Dr. Akpaniko said: "my stand on the issue is that there are Bakassi natives and there are also Bakassi people. People from all parts of Nigeria and from other countries who have lived in Bakassi for over 200 years, are called Bakassi people, they have no other home. Now you cannot ask these people to re-locate. But you cannot relocate Bakassi natives who are like the Aborigines Christopher Columbus saw when he went to America . "But I think there is a contraption trying to remove the Bakassi people from Bakassi. Cameroon was given sovereignty over the land of the people of Bakassi. "The question of moving them does not arise and the United Nations Charter did not stipulate that," he declared. He said the people of Bakassi had made presentation to the Senate Committee earlier in the year asking for a stay in the handover but this has been overruled "and I think that they must have made up their minds already about the people of Bakassi and had given one thing that had never been mentioned by anybody." Dr. Akpanika said the plan of those who are bent on relocating the people want to exploit the resources of the area. "That Bakassi is full of manganese not just oil that they are fighting for. Those people might be looking at the Manganese and Manganese is a special metal some of which is used in making planes and space ships. "So Manganese is more expensive than oil, so the people who are now trying to move the natives of Bakassi from their ancestral home to somewhere else are suspect. "So what we say is that we trace the history of the people to know those who have linkage with Bakassi for some 200 years, those who have gone to Bakassi to do business and those who don't have homes. "Above all, please, Bakassi natives cannot be relocated from their home land. We have islands that could be filled up for these people who have always done business in the river to resettle." He asserted that the Calabar channel should therefore not be handed over just like that. "The Agreement that divides the channel into two for Nigeria to occupy one corner while Cameroon occupies the other corner and after five years Cameroon will take over completely, is wrong," he said. http://thepmnews. com/2008/ 08/14/nigeria- cedes-bakassi- to-cameroun