MESOMMA’S LESSON — YOUR LIFE IS WORTH MORE THAN WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY
My dear ones,
We grieve deeply with the family of Mesomma, a young woman whose life was violently taken at UGA, Anambra State — not by strangers, but by the one who was supposed to love her. She stayed because she feared the whispers, the shame, the questions: "What will people say if I leave?" She ignored the red flags, hoping things would get better — and she paid the highest price.
The Hard Truth We Must Speak Up:
Your life is worth infinitely more than any reputation, any marriage, or what anyone thinks of you.
Too many of our daughters remain in dangerous relationships because we are told especially in the Igbo culture to endure — to keep the home together at all costs. But at the same time true Igbo values never demanded you stay where you are not safe.
What Our Culture Actually Teaches:
Let us correct a dangerous lie that circulates among us: Igbo tradition does NOT shame separation when the home becomes violent and unsafe. In many communities, when a husband persistently beats and abuses his wife and refuses to change — her people will go and bring her home. Some elders even tell stories of in-laws going to fetch their daughter and confronting the violent husband themselves.(a case my grand father in Nenwe used to tell us) Our ancestors valued human life and dignity above keeping a broken home. Peace and safety come first — always.
When It Is Time To Walk Away:
- When you have spoken, pleaded, and nothing changes
- When elders, family, or church mediation has been tried and failed
- When fear becomes your daily companion
- When violence becomes the answer to disagreement — once is already too many times
Then it is NOT failure. It is wisdom. It is survival. You have done your part. You have tried. Walk away. Do not wait for it to get worse — because sometimes, worse is irreversible.
A Message To Every Young Woman Reading This:
Please — do not let Mesomma’s death be in vain. If you are afraid, if you are hurting, if you are walking on eggshells — reach out. Speak to your parents, your trusted elder, a Priest/pastor, a doctor, or a support organisation. There is no shame in protecting your life. There is no shame in leaving danger.
What people say cannot kill you. But staying in a violent home might.
Mesomma stayed quiet for too long, thinking of what people would say. Let her voice from beyond speak to you now:
Your life matters more than their opinions. Your safety is not negotiable. If it is dangerous — leave.
May Mesomma’s gentle soul rest in perfect peace. May her story save many others from the same fate.
charlie.mbc@gmail.com
Family/youth's counsellor